Wellness Blog


Posted 5/22/2024

Exploring Emotional Illiteracy

I extend my greetings and well wishes to you. I thought the subject of Emotional Illiteracy would be interesting because a large portion of life is directly influenced by emotions in which it is important to note that the inability to understand ones’ emotions can affect ones’ life in a big way.

What is the definition of Emotional Illiteracy? Per Psychology Spot, Emotional Illiteracy ‘is the inability to understand, catalog and manage our emotions and feelings therefore, understand and accept the emotions of the others’. This definition floated my thinking to emotional intelligence which is a key factor when building interpersonal skills and understanding others emotions as well as your own.

Are you emotionally Illiterate? This is a good question to ask yourself in reference to self-exploration if you would like to gain education regarding more control over your actions and you are interested in building healthy relationships with others alongside investing in healthy lifestyle changes. Here are a few signs of emotional illiteracy:

1. Lack of Emotional Granularity
2. Lack of Accountability
3. Increased Impulsivity
4. Increased Self Doubt and Low Self Esteem
5. Very Sensitive

Managing your emotions properly and learning how to utilize your emotions in a productive way and/or learning how to manage your emotions in a proper way can assist with increasing your quality of life in a great way. Not being able to manage or utilize your emotions in your favor can lead to a victim mentality or a torturous thought process.

Learning to validate your emotions is helpful when challenging emotional illiteracy. Your support system is critical as well because if your feel invalidated, you may have difficulty with gaining emotional intelligence which will lead you back down the road of emotional illiteracy.

“Psychological invalidation is one of the most lethal forms of emotional abuse. It kills confidence, creativity and individuality.” Dr Anne Brown RNMS

Additional Ways to Challenge Emotional Illiteracy:

1. Label and name your emotions so they don’t have a hiding space

2. Learn to accept your emotions and even process what you are feelings. Reflection can grow out of this particular space.

3. Express yourself without fear. Create a balance in your life regarding your freedom of expression but don’t forget to respect boundaries. This will be a level of decision making that you may want to work with a therapist for. You may be able to do it on your own as well… This is for your assessment.

4. Engage in physical activity such as yoga and or working out to release lingering emotions or intense emotions from the body.

5. Journal to identify emotional patterns… You can purchase the Therapeutic Techniques that Work Journal from this website, healing with Princess, and I will also be releasing my new journal: Letters to Myself, Identifying the Language of My Mind, Body, and Soul in June of this year which is next month; This journal will be available for purchase during the time of the release. This is a great space where the emotions are already separated so you are able to freely express yourself with no judgement.

What’s your thoughts on Emotional Illiteracy? Have you experienced this phenomenon? 😊

Comment Below 👇🏾

Posted 4/23/2024

Did you know there are two types of happiness? Eudaimonic happiness, which is assessed through experiences of meaning and purpose and Hedonic happiness, which is assessed through pleasure and enjoyment.

I imagine there are many reasoning one would choose’ One or the other’ based on age, maturity, life experiences, goals, and overall quality of life to name a few circumstances. I thought it would be interesting for a discussion question this week though. Personally, at this time in my life I am interested in Eudaimonic Happiness due to my goals and desire for discipline. I feel like I’ve experienced Hedonic happiness for a large part of my past. But that can change tomorrow lol with the right kind of excitement or food per say lol. Which Happiness describe you in this moment? Are you more Eudaimonic or are you Hedonic? What were your circumstances? back to us.

Comment Below 👇🏾

Posted 4/2/2024

High Effort Coping

While reading the Restorative Yoga for Ethnic and Race-Based Stress and Trauma by Gail Parker Ph.D… the coined terms ‘John Henryism’ and ‘Sojourner Syndrome’ were discussed in which these terms identify minorities/ People of color who often overwork themselves and ignore their health at times just to ‘stay ahead’ and ‘stay on top’. This is identified as ‘High Effort Coping’. This cycle can be associated with ancestral memory and Inter-generational trauma. This blog post will be dedicated to releasing the notion that we must overwork ourselves and ignore our health in the process just because of race or minority status. First… identify if this is you. If so.. let’s identity the emotions attached to this thought process… is it fear.. anger.. anxiety? Then identify your goals for yourself and ways to implement self-care and boundaries in the process of you achieving these goals.. #Sidebar…Earlier this year we discussed goals; Where are you in the process?

I think of career Goals when speaking of ‘John Henryism’ and ‘Sojourner Syndrome’ but what other areas of life can these terms apply?

Comment Below 👇🏾

Posted 2/15/2024

Self Expression

How are you expressing yourself these days?

What are some ways you have explored expressing yourself since the New Year has begun? I mean, its 2024… I’m sure there have been some changes in your life right. I know with the passing of my mom my life has been extremely different. I don’t know if you have lost someone but at times, her death makes me feel empty inside. I’ve expressed myself through Yoga and Isolation. I can say that Yoga has been extremely beneficial for myself and my clients. Bodily expression is healthy and rewarding. When you’re not talking to process your emotions you’re definitely moving to process your emotions. I have been also writing and researching topics I am interested in. I’ve heard the old saying if you want something different you have to do something different. I know a friend of mines, Jessica, she’s into poetry. Another friend, Tootie, she enjoys reading the bible. My sister Lakeisha enjoys creating art. My dad loves to help others and travel. My friend Roz likes to sing and write songs. These activities are actually fairly healthy but anything can become toxic if overindulged. It’s important to stay on the right track when it comes to maintaining appropriate coping skills. Life’s challenges will happen…Will you be prepared?

How are you expressing yourself these days?

Posted 1/10/2023

So you have a goal that is pretty large... maybe even anxiety provoking. #BREAKITDOWN 😝😁 By turning a large goal into a step by step process, you can build confidence through achieving your success in increments! Rome wasn’t built in one day ⭐️

Now let’s dig a bit further into some interesting techniques that can assist with the completion of larger goals.. one technique is called Successive Approximation.

Per the free psychology dictionary.org the definition is as follows…

Successive approximation is a series of rewards that serve as positive reinforcement for behavioral changes that are incremental steps toward the ultimate desired behavior… Usually, this method is used to mold behavior.

So basically by utilizing a reward system.. you can creatively achieve a goal while molding select behaviors that prove successful on your endeavors… How would you tailor this technique to accommodate your goals?

Comment below 👇🏾

Posted 12/26/2023

A-Z gratitude checklist.

Hello everyone I imagine your are enjoying your holiday season and if this is a rough time for you I am sending healthy healing vibes your way. 🫶🏾🌹

Here is a unique exercise that can be utilized when maintaining a healthy mindset on your healing journey… it’s called the A-Z gratitude checklist. This is also fitting as we are approaching the end of the year, hence… A-Z; the beginning and ending. This exercise can be especially helpful when there is a need to challenge distorted thoughts 💭 which can arise as a defense mechanism to protect our current beliefs.

Can you list what you are grateful for (think of tangible and intangible items from this year 2023) Beginning from January to December.. while utilizing each letter in the alphabet?

I’ll start 🤓

A: I am grateful for my friendship with Adele…may she rest well…

B: I am grateful for my newest book.. Letters to myself.. I feel like I’ve been able to express myself so freely..

Your turn: What can you ‘C’ ??

List what you are grateful for by highlighting each letter in the alphabet. Remember to focus on this year. I look forward to chatting with you next year also. Cheers to 2024 ❤️

Posted 11/13/2023

Someone said, “ I’m living and no longer existing” and when I say that reached my soul ✨👑🫶🏾
I definitely can identify with LIVING:



How have you ceased existing? How have you began to LIVE AND EXPERIENCE THIS LIFE on your own terms?

Let’s talk about it.

Posted 10/30/2023

How does abandonment affect self confidence and self esteem?

Self esteem is confidence in ones own worth and/ or abilities. Self confidence is a feeling of trust in ones abilities, qualities, and judgment. Abandonment fear can trigger self sabotaging behaviors; these are behaviors that hinder one from achieving long and short term goals due to a LACK OF TRUST AND CONFIDENCE in ones abilities... Get the connection? Hopefully that was an #ahamoment ... which is a discovery moment. Engaging in self sabotaging behaviors could be an attempt to stay in a comfort zone where safety is present... Stepping out this comfort zone can trigger abandonment fear. Some examples of self sabotaging behaviors are: Perfectionism, Comparing yourself to others, engaging in risky sexual behaviors, refusing help, procrastination, and overspending among other behaviors. The ability to identify the sabotaging behavior is important... Always contact a support person, preferably a professional when attempting to process past or current trauma.

Posted 10/16/2023

What is Trust and how does abandonment affect trust issues?

When a person has been abandoned... Trust can become fragile. Trust is the belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. Think about it... if all the above factors are the definition of trust.... and each factor was violated... how can one move forward in a healthy manor? This causes people to second guess their decisions... Question loved ones and friends, Catastrophize, Create distorted thinking, become paranoid and maybe even delusional. With this kind of pain one may attempt to utilize substances to numb these overwhelming emotions and behaviors ( attempting to fill a void or avoid the reality of their feelings) or they may engage in other unhealthy behaviors like self harm behaviors (cutting, picking, banging body parts), or becoming toxic, manipulative, physically and emotional abusive toward others. Trauma informed therapy/ PTSD THERAPY alongside CBT therapy can assist with trust issues.

What’s your thoughts and experiences regarding trust and abandonment?

Posted 9/25/2023

Have you ever had a ‘ gut feeling’ that was so strong you can literally feel it? Like you were overwhelmed with your emotions? Well here is why! Check out this quote from Bessel Van Der Kolk- Author of The Body Keeps Score⬇️

“Intense Emotions involve not only the mind but also the gut and heart: ‘Heart, guts, and brain communicate intimately via the pneumogastric nerve, the critical nerve involved in the expression and management of emotions in both humans and animals. When the mind is strongly excited, it instantly affects the state of the viscera; so that under excitement there will be much mutual action and reaction between these, the two most important organs of the body”.

This information also derives from Darwin’s Body and Brain Connection book... 📚📚📚 So you had a gut feeling huh? Let’s talk about! ⭐️

Posted 9/11/2023

Did you know emotional check ins are super vital to our productivity throughout our day to day lives? By utilizing this #emotionalcheckin technique that can be found in my Journal,, Therapeutic Technique that work… a personal recovery ❤️‍🩹 journey… you can identify your #CBT (cognitive behavioral health) Sequence and fully embody the process of getting to know who you truly are. The sequence is as follows:

Identify a trigger:
Identify an EMOTION
Identify a thought
Identify a behavior

You can analyze yourself via this sequence to get to the root of your emotions. If you don’t enjoy select behaviors stemming from your thoughts and emotions… it is important you change your thoughts… this… in turn can alter your emotions…

It’s a handful but it works!

So…. What’s your mood for today? ✍🏾

*Bonus question: Can you control your triggers….

Comment your thoughts below 👇🏾

Posted 8/28/2023

My father hosted his father who visited from California during this weekend. My father was not raised by his father but he has always been cordial and kind toward him as an adult. The relationship is a bit estranged. I enjoyed spending time with them both during a recent family dinner but I couldn’t help but feel empathetic regarding the abandonment that my father experienced.

How have you coped with estranged relationships? Do you address your feelings or leave them in the past? How do you think abandonment affects future generations in your family? How can we heal this family dilemma?

I can honestly say my dad is a GREAT father and he appears to have moved on. I’m inspired by him for that. My grandfather was really nice and we connected easily. The experience of spending time with my grandfather was nice but the pain was in the shadows for sure.

Posted 8/12/2023

My moms birthday is approaching and the anniversary of her death. Although death is guaranteed in life I still dread the thought of her departure from earth. I would celebrate my mom every year for her birthday since I returned to Philly.

The love of a mother is irreplaceable. I’ve yearned for this love my entire life and I know my mom loved me she just had her own life and her own demons that wouldn’t allow her to be the mother from the television shows I would see. Luckily, my grandmother stepped in and raised me but the void remains. I’ll never forget crying crying crying when I realized I didn’t have a mom to run to and talk to when I was hurt. I became numb over the years. But I love her and miss her. Anyone else missing their parents or someone they love?

Lynette W. a.k.a Mom 🌹



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